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Self-Advocacy skills, including the ability to stand up for one’s self, ask for help, and share one’s needs, are crucial to success in school, career, relationships, and life. However, many teens today struggle with self-advocacy skills because they’re not explicitly taught. Fortunately, there are many different ways to help your teen build their own self-advocacy skills in their everyday life. This blog post outlines a few tips that can help get you started in supporting your teens to advocate for themselves.
Ordering at a restaurant, takeout counter, or coffee shop might seem simple, but it’s a great way to practice asking for what you want in a low-pressure environment. Oftentimes when teens are more shy, parents might step in and order for them to ease their discomfort or to speed up the process. However, allowing teens to order for themselves, even when it makes them nervous, can help them build confidence around talking to strangers, asking questions, and advocating for their needs. This opportunity is a quick and easy one that can help build the self-advocacy muscle over time.
Similar to ordering in a restaurant, having teens make their own phone calls to set appointments for tasks like doctor’s visits and hair appointments is a valuable way to help build their self-advocacy skills. At the heart of strong self-advocacy skills are confidence and independence, and setting their own appointments will help them take ownership of these experiences, building their independence over time. Because many teens find talking on the phone so stressful, successfully doing so will help them build their confidence over time, while the act of setting the appointment provides practice in asking for help and advocating for their needs. Making an appointment seems like a small task, but the more practice they have with these type of tasks, the more their self-advocacy skills will grow.
By the time your child is a teenager, they should be talking to their teachers themselves when they need help. However, it can be very stressful and overwhelming for teens to ask for help or to approach a teacher, especially if they’re struggling in a class. Instead of reaching out to the teacher for your child, help your child reach out to the teacher on their own. This might look like sitting down with your child and writing an email together that your child sends. It might look like practicing what they’re going to say to the teacher and deciding a specific day and time to have the conversation. While asking teachers for help can be an overwhelming task for teens, it is one of the best ways to build their self-advocacy skills and help teach them how asking for help can directly impact their life in a positive way.
Another great way to support the development of your child’s self-advocacy skills is to model good self-advocacy skills in your own life. Talk to your child about asking for help and make sure they know it’s a positive action. Tell your child about times you’ve asked for help or spoken up for your needs, and share these stories with pride. Model the skills of asking where to find an item in a store, ordering in a restaurant, or calling a customer service representative to ask for help. When your teen watches you practice these skills in a positive way, they will learn how they should look, better preparing them to apply these skills in their own life.
One of the smallest, easiest ways to help build self-advocacy skills is to ask your child what they think. When children transition into adolescence, it’s normal for parents to be used to making decisions for them. However, you can start building their independence by asking your teen about their preferences in things like what to have for dinner, how they would like to track their schoolwork, or where to go on vacation. You can also ask them their opinions on a TV show, a current event, or a song you both listen to on the radio. Self-awareness is another key component of strong self-advocacy skills, and forming one’s own opinions is essential to building that self-awareness. While forming opinions and sharing them might seem like a given, many teens are expected to have opinions even though they have never been expected to form them. Asking about your teen’s preferences and opinions will help build this self-awareness, better preparing them to develop their self-advocacy skills.
While all teens crave independence, some need more help than others developing the skills needed for adult life. YA Success Coach offers 1-1 coaching for teens that focuses on important life skills like organization, time management, and goal-setting. We will work with your child to help them develop the skills necessary to take steps into adulthood confidently and successfully. Our model emphasizes understanding your child’s unique needs and developing these skills at a pace that is both manageable and motivating to them. Contact us today to learn more about how Success Coaching can help prepare your child for the responsibilities of college and adulthood.
Having a conversation is the first step to helping your child realize their full potential and set them up for success!