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Metacognition, or the skill of taking a step back and evaluating yourself in a given situation, is an Executive Functioning skill that’s challenging for many teenagers. Self-reflection and self-evaluation both require a level of introspection and self-awareness that do not often come naturally to young people. Like other Executive Functioning skills, however, this skill can be practiced and developed over time with the right support. This blog outlines tips for parents to help their teen improve their metacognition skills.
When wanting your child to engage in self-reflection, it’s natural to ask questions like “How was your day?” or “How did that test go?” However, many teens, especially those with ADHD, can find these types of questions too vague or open-ended to answer. To help them practice their metacognition skills, ask very specific questions instead. “Did you enjoy gym class today?” “What was one fun thing you did at school?” “Did you feel prepared for your math test?” are all questions that get at the same ideas as the ones listed above, but provide more specific guidance for answering the question. Asking specific questions can prevent teens from avoiding questions or answering “I don’t know,” allowing them a supportive space to practice self-reflection.
A great way to help your child develop their metacognition skills is to talk about experiences they’ve had with someone else. Practicing describing their experiences verbally will help improve their ability to reflect on a past event or situation in order to analyze and evaluate it. This process can look as simple as asking them to describe their school day. As stated before, follow up with specific questions to help your child go into more detail about their experiences. If they are telling you a story, ask questions like “What happened next?” and “how did you feel about that?” to encourage them to expand on their thoughts. The more practice your child gets in describing their experiences, the better equipped they will be to engage in self-reflection.
When engaging in self-reflection or self-evaluation, a concrete rating scale can be a supportive way to help your child evaluate their experiences without needing detailed language to describe it. Instead of asking, “how do you think you handled that situation?” you might ask them “on a scale of 1-5, how confident do you feel in your decision?” or “on a scale of 1-5, how likely are you to make that choice again?” A numeric rating scale is a great way to simplify the process of self-evaluation and allow teens to practice evaluating their performance without needing to provide a detailed explanation of their thoughts.
An important part of self-reflection and self-evaluation is determining whether your actions were the right ones to take in a given situation. One way to determine if this is the case is by exploring “what if” scenarios. If your child is unsure whether they made the right decision, you can explore with them what would have happened if they made a different decision. For example, if your child is determining whether they handled conflict with a friend correctly, you might ask, “What if you had said ____ instead? How would they have reacted?” Exploring multiple scenarios, both good and bad, can help your child gain a broader understanding of their actions and feel more confident in their own evaluation of them.
If your child is struggling to determine whether the actions they performed were the right ones, or if they are struggling to make a decision at all, asking them to imagine the scenario happening to a friend is a great strategy. Your child can then imagine giving advice to their friend in a way that removes themself from the situation, allowing them to see it more objectively. This objective perspective is key to meaningful self-evaluation, and this strategy will allow your child to practice taking on this perspective and applying it to their own actions.
One of the best ways to help your child develop any Executive Functioning skill is to model it for them, so that they can see what successful application of this skill looks like. In the case of metacognition, showing your child what it looks like to engage in self-reflection and self-evaluation will help them understand the process and demonstrate the value of engaging in them frequently. In practice, this might look like telling your child about a situation that happened to you at work. Rather than just relaying the story, you can also share with them how you felt about your actions and why you chose those actions. You can then share what you might have done instead, and why you made the choice. At the end of the discussion, share whether in the future you would have acted differently or the same, and explain how confident or satisfied you feel about your actions. Allowing your child a window into this process that is not focused on them will help them better practice this skill in their own life.
Executive functioning skills can be challenging for teens to develop and practice, but they’re truly essential for long-term success. If your teen or young adult could use some support in developing their executive functioning skills, consider Success Coaching for your child. Our approach emphasizes getting to know your child as a unique individual and developing strategies that will be supportive to their unique needs and help them achieve their personal goals. Through our coaching process, teens can improve their metacognition skills and other executive functions in order to set them up for long-term success. For more information on the services we offer, contact us today!
Having a conversation is the first step to helping your child realize their full potential and set them up for success!