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Summer is here and students, teachers, and parents alike are taking some much-needed time to relax, unwind, and have fun! It’s natural (and healthy!) to spend school breaks with a much more relaxed schedule, focused on enjoying your time and the sunshine rather than stressing about school assignments and extracurriculars. However, for teens with ADHD or other executive functioning difficulties, the lack of structure, while inviting, can ultimately lead to more stress. For this reason, I’ve put together some helpful tips for creating structure on school breaks while still emphasizing relaxation and fun!
The most obvious way to create structure in the summer is to get out of the house as much as possible. Sign up for camps and activities. Encourage teens who are old enough to get a summer job. Go to the beach. Go camping with friends. The more things your child has going on in the summer, the more structured their weeks will naturally become. Although you might want to avoid the level of busy you experience during the school year, it’s important that teens stay active and have things to do during the summer months.
This task can be done at any point during the summer, and can be revisited as many times as you wish. When thinking about setting goals for the summer, they’ll probably look very different from school-year goals. Your teen’s goals might be to get to the beach as much as possible, to spend quality time with friends, or to finally beat that video game they’ve been playing for months. Setting intentions is a great way to remind your teen to do during the summer. Without setting goals or intentions, many of us, not just teens, fall into the trap of doing very little. Summer vacation often results in too much time spent on the couch that your teen doesn’t even enjoy. Helping your teen remember all of the exciting things the summer can hold can help motivate them to stay active and be present during the summer months. For creative and visual teens, you can even create a summer vision board together. Having a visual reminder is always helpful in improving task follow-through.
The most exciting part of any time off of school for most teens is sleep! We all know that adolescents need a lot of sleep to function optimally, and we also know that most of them don’t get it during the school year. After every long weekend, school break, or even regular weekend, most students will share that their primary highlight from the time off is increased sleep. While increased sleep is important, teens’ natural biological clocks push them to want to stay up late. In the summer, this combination can lead to the classic “sleeping until noon” struggle. While an occasional lie-in can be a wonderful way to recharge, research shows us that regular bedtimes and wake up times lead to increased focus, improved cognitive performance, and better overall wellness.
Work with your teen on developing a regular bedtime and wake up time that works for them. Allow them to sleep in later if they wish, but meet in the middle with expectations. Midnight-10AM can be a healthy, restful schedule that most teens will find satisfactory. Support your teen in setting a daily alarm, but allow them to snooze if they wish. The focus isn’t on being so rigid that your child can never sleep in, but establishing the routine that helps them create structure in their life.
Another classic summer experience that can lead to a lack of structure is the teen who spends the entire day in their pajamas. A great way to create more structure in your teen’s day is to support them in creating a morning routine. After getting out of bed, there should be a sequence of tasks they follow. There’s nothing wrong with this routine including an episode of TV or 30 minutes of video game play, but their routine should also include breakfast, brushing their teeth, performing other hygiene tasks, and getting dressed.
Work with your teen on a routine that works for them, and then remind them of this routine if they stray. Perhaps they get up, watch TV while they eat breakfast, then when the episode is over they clean up their breakfast dishes, brush their teeth, and get dressed. Perhaps they prefer to get everything productive out of the way quickly before beginning their fun day. There is no wrong way to have a morning routine, what’s important is having one that’s consistent to create structure and help your teen start their day off on the right foot.
For younger children a daily schedule can be a supportive structure during the summer months, but this approach tends to feel restrictive to teens who need to be independent and make their own decisions. However, planning the important tasks within a week can help create structure and make sure all important tasks are completed. Either at the very end or beginning of each week, look at any important events and tasks that will occur. Are there dentist appointments? A friend’s party? Is this the week your teen agreed to paint your outdoor fence? Look at the week as a whole with your child and mark, on a visible calendar, all of the important events and tasks coming that week. Placing that calendar on the fridge or a wall somewhere can also serve as a helpful reminder to your teen. Not only will the visible reminders help your teen manage their time, but it also serves as a helpful reminder to you in supporting them.
Another easy way to have structure in the day is to encourage your child to keep to a consistent, three meal per day schedule. It can be tempting in the summer to snack throughout the day and avoid regular meals. However, preparing and eating three regular meals per day is a wonderful way to break up the day into thirds. Eat your breakfast, then begin your day. After your morning activities, have a nice break at lunch. Then, there’s time for a second round of activities before dinner, as your day winds down. Regular meals are an easy way to help your teen divide their time and have a natural reason to switch into new tasks and activities.
The necessity of encouraging outside time varies wildly from teen to teen. Some teenagers will run out the door the second they finish their breakfast, not to be seen again until dinner time or later. However, many teens today don’t spend enough time outside, preferring indoor tasks such as chatting with their friends online, playing video games, or scrolling social media. The summer heat can make these actions even more inviting, as many would rather remain inside to enjoy the comfort of the AC. Despite the heat, it’s essential for teenagers, and everyone, to get outside every day. Whenever possible, encourage extended outside time at the pool or going on shaded walks. On particularly hot days, perhaps it’s just 30 minutes sitting in the shade with a lemonade.
Regardless of the form it takes, getting outside every day improves cognitive functioning, mood, and overall wellness. It also helps create structure in the day because of the physical indicators of the passage of time. Lastly, for teens with ADHD, sunlight and the sounds of nature have calming effects that can help slow teen’s minds and improve their focus. The benefits of outside time are endless, but your teen does not have to spend all day every day outside to get them. Encourage your teen to spend at least a little time outside every day to help them create structure in their day and improve their overall feelings.
The lack of structure in the summer can often lead to depressed feelings, lack of purpose, and low overall moods. For this reason, it’s important to check in with your teen regularly throughout the summer and find out how they’re feeling. If you’re like me, you might want to create a real structure around this check in, setting a weekly reminder in your phone to ask them how they’re feeling. However, your check-in does not have to be this formal. These check-ins are important because if your teen is feeling low, it will allow an opportunity to problem-solve with them. Chances are their low mood will be in some way related to a lack of structure. This conversation will give you an opening to support your teen in increasing the structure in their weekly routine. More often than not, if they can remain consistent with this structure, they will notice that they feel better over time.
Some teens need more support than others in managing their time and creating structure in their lives. Oftentimes, parents with busy schedules just can’t provide the support necessary to help their teen effectively manage their time. YA Success Coach can help! I provide individualized support to teens in whatever area of Executive Functioning Support they require, including improving time management skills and developing organizational systems that will work for your child. Contact me today to learn more about the support I can offer your child.
Having a conversation is the first step to helping your child realize their full potential and set them up for success!