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The new year is an exciting time that always feels full of promise and new possibilities. It’s a time when most people take the opportunity to reflect on their year and their life and think about what changes they might like to make. While reflection and goal setting are really valuable activities, there’s a pressure that’s often attached to New Year’s resolutions that can make them feel more daunting than exciting. By February, many people’s resolutions turn into sources of frustration or guilt. With the right strategy, anyone can create a new year’s resolution that remains hopeful and motivating throughout the year. This blog post outlines the steps you can take to create a New Year’s resolution that you want to stick to all year long.
A great place to start when thinking about changes or improvements to your life is to consider all of the different facets of your life. There are obvious ones, like career or school, relationships, and health. There are ones that you might be less likely to consider on a daily basis, such as Life Purpose or spirituality. It’s important to consider the zones that make sense for you and your life. However, the basic ones that tend to be helpful when thinking about your life are:
Feel free to add others that feel important or take any away that don’t seem relevant. What’s important about this step is to consider how many different facets of your life exist to make up your daily experiences.
Once you’ve done some thinking about the different areas of your life, the next step in this process is to determine how satisfied you are with each one of them. The easiest way to do this is to rank each zone on a scale of 1-10, 1 being not at all satisfied, and 10 being completely satisfied. However, other ranking systems like red, orange, yellow, green or A-F are also great if they make more sense to you. Go through each zone and really think about your life, then write down a satisfaction level for each zone as your life currently stands.
After you’ve determined your satisfaction levels, you can begin brainstorming changes that could improve each zone. If your satisfaction level is an 8 or higher, any changes might be really small, or they might even just include to keep doing what you’re doing. If your satisfaction is low, you might end up with really big changes or a long list of small changes. There is no wrong way to brainstorm this list, but it’s important to come up with at least one idea in each zone that would improve your satisfaction level.
Once you’ve really thought through the different zones of your life, your satisfaction with each of them, and how they might be improved, the next step is to choose one or two to focus on improving this year. The most important thing to consider when making this choice is that the area you choose feels exciting and motivating to you. You might want to focus on improving your lowest satisfaction level, but it might also be more exciting for you to bring a 7 up to a 10. Don’t worry about feelings of obligation and ignore any thoughts telling you “I don’t want to focus on this, but I really should.” The best way to get a resolution to stick is to choose something that you really feel excited about.
Once you’ve chosen your life zone to focus on, review the ideas you’ve brainstormed on potential changes you can make. Use this information to determine a change you think you could make that’s achievable, meaning you truly believe you can do it, and motivating, meaning you feel excited about making that change and would feel positive and accomplished if you made the change. This change does not need to be big, and it does not need to make sense to anyone but you. What’s important is that the change feels like something that would improve your life.
When we think about changes we’d like to make, we usually think in terms that are more vague than what is useful in a resolution. We might say something like “eat healthier,” “get better sleep,” or “manage my time better.” These improvements are wonderful starting points, but they’re not specific enough to be useful resolutions. Once you have an idea, think about how you might be able to measure your progress. This piece is essential, because measuring your progress is the best way to keep yourself motivated as January turns into February. Instead of “get better sleep,” you might say “sleep for 8 hours per night” or “go to bed by 11 PM every night.” Instead of “manage my time better,” you might say “meet all of my deadlines” or “use a planner every day.” By attaching specifics to your resolution, it will be easier to know whether you are on track or not, helping you stay motivated and preventing you from getting off track.
The best way to keep yourself on track with a New Year’s resolution, or any other change or habit you’re trying to build, is to establish checkpoints and check ins ahead of time. If you’re working towards a bigger goal, such as completing a big project, losing a certain amount of weight, or reading 12 books in a year, you’ll want to determine where you should be at specific times to reach your goal. For example, if you’d like to read 10 books this year, by the end of January, you’ll want to have read one. Similarly, if you’d like to lose 10 pounds, you’ll probably want to have lost 1 by the end of January.
If your goal is more about establishing a new habit or routine, it’s more important to establish a regular check in to determine whether you’re staying on track. This might look like a bimonthly or monthly journaling routine where you ask yourself “am I meeting my goal” and “why or why not?” An accountability partner can also be extremely helpful to keep you on track, where you determine a regular cadence to check in on each other’s goals. In both cases, establishing a regular check in is the best way to keep you on track and remind you of your goal. However, it’s essential to focus on the positives and to not judge or guilt yourself if you find that you are off track at your check in. Instead of reacting negatively, just focus on what changes you can make that will make you more successful going into the next checkpoint.
This step is the most important one when thinking about New Year’s resolutions. The purpose of a New Year’s resolution is to improve your life. No one’s life is improved by adding feelings of guilt or regret. For this reason, when thinking about your New Year’s resolution, focus on any progress you’re making, even if it’s not as fast or significant as you had hoped. In the same vein, give yourself grace when you backslide or stop making progress. The best way to keep yourself motivated and to achieve your goals is to continue to think of them as a hopeful, positive vision for yourself and your future. Be sure to celebrate any and all progress you make towards your goals and remember that progress is a non-linear process.
Making life changes and building habits is challenging for everyone, but can be especially difficult for teens and young adults. YA Success Coach specializes in helping teens and young adults create goals that are achievable and motivating to them, and develop the skills they need to get there. We understand that each child is unique, and focus on identifying each individual’s barriers to success and the most supportive strategies to break down those barriers. Contact us today to learn more about how Success Coaching can help your child make the changes they need to be the best version of themselves.
Having a conversation is the first step to helping your child realize their full potential and set them up for success!